Turn the woof into a whimper

Women’s XI

It might be cricket’s equivalent of Christmas in July; a Grand Final in November! The T20 section of the Women’s season comes to a head tomorrow, as the Students prepare to play for Premiership glory.


Standing in their way is Holy Trinity. Ironically their opponents might need some assistance from the Father, Son and Holy Ghost to stand any chance – Uni having been utterly dominant of late.


So strong has the batting been this season, only seven Students have had a hit, and only a brave punter would wager that will change in the big dance; Herman Lopez and Grant ever-reliable.


With the ball, Dakota Edmonds and Jessica Aquilina always pose a threat, but with options everywhere you look, captain Cath Grant will be flush for choice on Sunday.


Good luck, girls! 



This week, footage from a sub-district match went viral. As the teams butted heads over the interpretation of one of the game’s ‘greyer’ laws, one piece of feedback given was particularly noteworthy: 


“You’re the blokes who bring your own beers!”

Fitting, then, that this week the First XI will be playing at Footscray, where Life Member, Antony Keely was once told to “take your beers and… etc. after putting $60 over the bar. Perhaps we should heed the advice and bring our own tomorrow? 


To the cricket, Jeremy Peacock has been rewarded for another strong start to the season, with a promotion to the First XI. Muscular though he may be, he was reminded on Thursday night by Simon Mackin that he doesn’t have the best calves in the side. No, that goes to Kingo.


Elsewhere, it has been rumoured that Janak Prakash is no longer a single man. Love might be in the air in the West tomorrow, in fact, there is reason to believe The Beatles were singing about JP; “There’s nothing you can do, that can’t be done.”


Bucket Buckets was featured in the news this week. Baby Buckety, the youngster featured alongside Campbell Kellaway. Hasn’t changed a bit, but a big score tomorrow might make him the feature of Paul Amy’s next piece.



His SONAR radar finely tuned at the moment, Noah worked out how UNIQLO magic checkouts work during the week. The same week that UNIQLO ambassador, Adam Scott teed it up in Queensland, there’s some kind of positive energy flowing there. Donkey has also moved house. A move that has lended itself to the discovery of some old favourites in the wardrobe, look out for Donk to play with vintage freedom tomorrow.



Who gave that bloke the armband?


Yes, Harry Emms will skipper the Second XI at the Main tomorrow, so don’t be surprised to see him take the new stone, swing a couple and then throw it to the real quickies when it starts going straight. Then again, he has a proud record with the ball against Footscray – just ask him.


Mark Stafford has been entertaining all week. First it was an extended ‘client lunch’ at Crown and tomorrow it will likely be making the ball talk in the middle of Parkville. Both great strengths of his, look for the big Squid to have an impact early.


Speaking of impact, James Horn is ready to lead Lowery to glory both on and off the field tomorrow. Head of the Social Committee, Jim has prepared another bumper pub crawl, but our long-limbed keeper that the night is twice the fun when it comes with a broom and a bonus point. That in mind, keep an eye out for one-handed screamers and scoop/ sweep/ paddle things.


PLAYER TO WATCH: Harrison Barnes

Set to face the new cool mint at the top of the list, one can only hope the scorer’s pencil is sharp. Enviably stylish, HB  has been testing out some new willow of late as well. Set to find the middle of it, the Woofers could be chasing it all round the park.



It’s a good old-fashioned “Tertiary-off!” Set to play in the shadow of Vic Uni, the Third XI are primed to demonstrate a new course offering to the Woofers: A Bachelor of six points and a song.”


A mighty strong team whose start to the season has already got the Premiership t-shirt designers busy, the Third XI will be out to secure a spot on top of the table as the silly season looms. 


Speaking of the silly season, Jamin Barron-Toop will make the ball talk tomorrow. Bowling on a wicket that has formerly had dandelions growing in it during play (that’s a fact, and not a Bett fact), he’ll likely have some assistance, so look out for the Spanish meat.


Equally threatening Josh Hahnel will feel at home in the West, and also with a point to prove. A proud Yarraville man, he’s likely to take the team on a tour of the artisan café scene, before taking his fast hands to the middle to pound the ball through the off-side.

PLAYER TO WATCH: Lachie Melican

Another proud west-sider, Pelican lives on top of the hill above Merv Hughes Oval. Choc Wedge? In any case, he chooses to drive past the ground every time he comes to the Main. Peli, too, has a penchant for punishing anything in his zone, so his own backyard could be in danger if the Woofers miss. 



“I don’t know what’s going on, I thought they should have been ready by now.” – Shenan Dias when actually asked what is going on with the Fourth XI Premiership t-shits.


Yes, it’s been a strong start to the year for the youthful Fourth XI and Round 6 against Footscray gives another chance to solidify a spot on top of the ladder. 


A strong side, Toby Rawlings will be looking to capitalise on his recent strong form, the man’s dominance with bat in hand eclipsed only by the quality of golf courses he’s playing. Yes, Tobes is set to play Victoria, Kingston Heath and Royal Melbourne all within the space of a week. Must be nice.


Henri Du Toit will take the gloves for the Fourth XI. A man who loves a very different kind of yo-yo to me (for him, the fitness test. For me, the cream-filled sweetie), Du Toit will ensure the Students are racing between overs. Those with a keen eye would also have observed he has vintage Kookaburra keeping gloves, so there’s that.



THe big quick had an added boost when his girlfriend came to film him bowling on Thursday night. Perhaps he found a couple of extra kms, but Khush had batters in all sorts. His back of a length consistency always challenging the box and inner-thigh, he will prove a challenge for Footscray.

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