“All happy families are alike; each potentially rain affected Round 1 Premier Cricket clash leaves its players unhappy in its own way.” - Leo Tolstoy in the first draft of Anna Karenina (probably).
As ever, Melbourne turned out a corker of a weekend for the AFL Grand Final; spending its tickets – as Geelong did – a week early. So, it is with the threat of inclement weather that the Students prepare for the opening of the Men’s 2024/25 season.
As such, and paying heed to the Karenina Principle, all necessary precautions have been taken to ensure games get on, and MUCC can claim its first broom of the new season.
First XI V Prahran: University Main, 10am.
Cricket Victoria might as well call a spade a spade and promote this clash as GAME OF THE ROUND. Set to feature a pair of MUCC debutants, a whole host of professional cricketers and a scorer reaching a milestone of his own, the neutral supporters are set to flock to Parkville on Saturday.
First, a word on those debutants.
Only a brave man would choose to support Hawthorn while growing up in Colac. Thankfully for all at MUCC, Henry Melville is not only brave, but also an incredibly talented cricketer. At just 19, he will take the gloves and occupy an all-important spot in the middle order, as he sets himself for a long and prosperous career as a Student. Already Beefy’s favourite (Hank only drinks stubs of Draught), Stub has made a wonderful impression on the club thus far, and we can’t wait to watch him go about his business tomorrow. He also has lots of spare bat grips in case you forgot to buy one all preseason.
Rumour has it that Tom Mileto has never left the inner-north. A Fitzroy supporter, a Melbourne University student and now a MUCCer having crossed from Carlton at the start of the year, Poodle will nestle in at number 3 tomorrow. A stylish left-hander, he has already provided a bounty of quotes that will likely feature in MUCC mag at a later date, and is great mates with Gregs. Versatile too, Mileto is comfortable in anything from a suit, to Sambas and slicing his way through a well-set off-side field.
All the best to both.
As for the rest of the team, there’s a pair of professional spinners, and the West’s best real-estate agent, Yuvi Singh. Dhruv will cruise around the middle order – but don’t expect him to save your number in his phone; some clubmates found that out the hard way this preseason.
As for the skipper? Well, hasn’t he settled into corporate life with ease. Perhaps taking a leaf out of President Nic Brian’s book, Ferg spent last week playing soccer in Sydney and charity basketball. In fairness, someone must grease the wheels of commerce.
PLAYER TO WATCH: Mark Stafford
The old pro, can anyone stop him? Sure, the bowling has got better in recent years, but perhaps even more remarkably, Mark Stafford’s hair just goes from strength to strength. Set to lead the attack alongside Tom Walker, Squid has assured those close to him that he will return for his 16th (!) season tomorrow with a Baker’s Delight pull apart, a value pack of Natural Confectionary and an infectious positivity. He is also trying to sell Acorn Nursery for developments. Safe to say we prefer Mark the teammate, to Mark the real-estate shark.
Second XI V Prahran: Waverly Oval, 10am
Although the Second XI is thrilled to play under the leadership of new skipper, Tim Young, Tim himself has been considering a switch to full-time golfer in recent days. Having made the most of his school holidays, TY has had scores of 42 and 40 Stableford points in the last week. Mercifully, he has committed to cricket and if his hand-eye holds from the course to the pitch, Second XIs across the state beware.
Equally exciting, Luca Van Der Sluys makes his Second XI debut tomorrow. Fresh from a holiday to Hamilton Island (oh, did he not tell you?), LVDS will set up shop behind the stumps, and probably catch opposition batters unaware with his friendly disposition. If given an edge behind, he’ll probably catch that too.
Elsewhere, Om Patel returns (assuming Flight Radar has it right), straight from the terminal to ten sets of finger spin. Gee it’s exciting to plug the Wizard in and let him go to work. Kev will take a break from Social Committee duties to play some cricket, while Connor Hastings will share the week’s hottest finds from Macca’s Monopoly.
As for the quickies, it’s a pleasure to welcome back James Browning. The left armer in full flow is a sight to behold, and his return is a testament to a bunch of hard work, persistence and general awesomeness. Great work, Jubba.
PLAYER TO WATCH: Krish Kumar
Secret Santa has had one heck of a pre-season. Religiously the first to arrive at the training nets, Krish and his trademark ‘nip-backer’ have gone to another level over the last six months. After finding his feet at Second XI level at the end of last year, don’t be surprised to see Krish make light work of batting orders throughout 24/25.
Third XI V Prahran: PP3, 10:30am
No one say anything, but it looks like Uni has selected an unnamed player in the Third XI this week. It shouldn’t really matter, though, because the players who have names attributed to them on Play Cricket are really good.
Led by the incomparable Jacob ‘Fridge’ Stevenson, the Third XI are destined for greatness this year. A man with a cool head, an answer to any medical question you can think of (seriously, try him) and an unflappable willingness to bowl the hard overs himself, his leadership will hold them in good stead.
To that end, Salman Afridi, Matthew Gome, Brodie O’Donnell and Rowan Jesper all pull on the Baggy Black to make their Third XI debuts. Salman will also don a Pakistan helmet when batting, which when combined with his deft touch and powerful sweep shots, ought to strike fear into the hearts of the opposition.
Michael Forwood and Angus Harms acquainted themselves with PP3 earlier this afternoon, working to get the covers down in cyclonic wind conditions. A great effort to help get the game on, just don’t ask how they sourced the pegs.
PLAYER TO WATCH: Eddy Schultheis
Edward, to his mates. Which is all of us. Edward is hitting the ball beautifully at the moment. He is also running with the perm and double diamond stud, which is a level of cool that most of us can only dream of. Edward also proclaimed he would be the “first there and last to leave,” every social function this year. Perhaps he should expect a call from Craig Hutchison as it relates to copyright – stealing SEN’s famous line about the football.
Fourth XI V Prahran: Righetti Oval, 10:30am
Strong performers last season, the Fourth XI will be keen to go a couple of games better in 24/25. With Shen at the helm once again, his youthful side will be encouraged to play a positive and engaging style of cricket.
The Fourth XI also boasts a trump card; last year’s Scholar’s Cross winner, Matty Hield. The star all-rounder found his rhythm last year, and will be a handful for the Two Blues tomorrow.
Oli Greenhill, Ethan Yates and Mitch Treacy also come into the side for their MUCC debuts, adding to the healthy stocks of all-rounders at the club. As it relates to healthy stocks, if you have any in TransUrban, you would be well-advised to sell them tonight; Mitch Treacy can hit a big ball, and with the Monash Freeway within reach from Righetti Oval, I’d be getting out while you’re still ahead on that investment.
PLAYER TO WATCH: Toby Rawlings
Full-time employment might have cruelled his four-round-per-week schedule, but it has done nothing to hamper Tobes’ ability to hit the cricket ball 360 degrees. Although he is wielding a bat that is a different brand from Joe Root for the first time in his career, don’t rule out a big one from Toby in Round 1.
I love you all, have fun and thanks for all your work in the preseason.
MUYFB