It’s FINALly Here

“(Finals) start tomorrow and I’ll be honest – I’ve got butterflies. But one great fact about butterflies is that they only show up when you care a lot about something. And also, they taste with their feet.” – Ted Lasso


Uni and Finals go together better than Bert and Ernie; the Second and Third XI’s set to represent the club once again at the pointy end of the season. The Second XI take on Footscray at Windy Hill on Saturday, while the Third XI will look to tame the Lions at the Main.



Last week they beat Essendon, and this week they will be keen to win at Essendon. Safe to say the Second XI have embraced 315 degrees on the compass of late. Speaking of compasses, a man who is good with them – Harrison Barnes – returns to the side, along with Doug Warren and Angus Molden. Wowsers trousers they’re handy inclusions!


A man who will no doubt be inspired by the setting of the match on Saturday, JB is a loyal and long-suffering Essendon supporter. Perhaps it’s a good thing he’ll be pre-occupied taking wickets on Saturday afternoon then, because his Bombers are facing Geelong at the ‘G at 2:10. With Joel, Tomahawk and Danger set to run amock, look for JB to take his football frustrations out on the Woofers.


Speaking of football frustration, Hahnel’s Dogs couldn’t get the choccies on Wednesday night, either. Sure to receive some feedback from Hutton and Bett on Saturday, Josh will be willing to take it if it means the increasingly clicky handle in his Kookaburra holds out for another week…


Peacock and Warren – a pair that will no doubt contest Scholars’ Cross next month – should be well fuelled for the game on Saturday. After munching their way through multiple Nutella-filled pretzels at the Intervarsity match on Monday evening, their only concern might be one shared with Jerry Seinfeld… “These pretzels are making me thirsty!”


Don’t bother checking the BOM tomorrow, either. Regardless of temperature, cloud cover or wind speed, the UV index will be high. Yuvraj has been bowling the house down of late, and should his hard-hitting be required down the list, the cheese wheel at the neighbouring bowls club could be in danger… “swear jar, Nance.”



His Range Rover has already accounted for KD’s Camry in season 21/22 and his outswinger could account for a few Bulldogs on Saturday. Air speed high, the old Channel 9 protractor could come in handy for TJ tomorrow, measuring “actual delivery,” V “without deviation.” The difference will be considerable.



At the Main and surely with a healthy dose of support from the sidelines, the Third XI will look to kick off their Finals campaign with a bang against the Lions. Boosted by the inclusions of Michael “Zimt” Forwood and Jamon “Ah!” Barron-Toop, the Third XI boast talent on every line.


In stunning form last week, Elliott Durrant might have just found a winning formula at the right time of the year. Dining on Portuguese chicken last Friday instead of his beloved Kentucky Fried, the runs flowed for Ale. *Notoriously poor at drinking games*, but notoriously stylish with bat in hand, Kev could really get moving in the next month.


On Tuesday night at the centre-wicket, Jimmy Anderson batted on the Main for the first time. On Saturday, MUCC’s resident “finisher,” will have the chance to break open a Final in his maiden match in the middle. Sure to do it all with style (or at least gold sunnies) we can’t wait to see Jimmy get stuck in.


Taking the gloves and the captain’s armband, Sam Skinner will surely have a big say on this one. Already established as the world’s nicest man, he enhanced his reputation by donating a pair of Helix batting gloves to Kevin mid-innings last week. Pleasantries might be put on hold briefly on Saturday however, Skinny Dog’s competitive streak sure to come out in a Final.


When he’s not in meetings sorting out the fixtures for every junior footballer from Murrumbeena to Marysville, Nick Ritchie is biffing short balls to all parts. No College will be safe on Saturday should the Lions miss their length.


PLAYER TO WATCH: John McLaughlan

Dwayne has a simple Saturday formula.

  1. Wake up
  2. Long black from Brunswick St Alimentari
  3. E.S.T sandwich from Brunswick St Alimentari
  4. Fast; fast; fast; slower and wider, up the chimney, wicket.

With a fool-proof game plan, Venice has worked it out. Thrilled to be back at the Main, John could well and truly break this one apart. To that end, there exists a proud record for finger spinners in Third XI Finals…


I’ll happily throw stones from a glass house.


Best of luck to both teams on the weekend. The whole club is behind you and we can’t wait to support you from Parkville to Airport Parking!

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